Comments on: Letting go and holding on http://www.letterneversent.com/letting-go-and-holding-on/1418/ Tell me when to go. Thu, 02 Feb 2012 11:46:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Nyssa23 http://www.letterneversent.com/letting-go-and-holding-on/1418/comment-page-1/#comment-1093 Nyssa23 Fri, 20 Aug 2004 15:51:50 +0000 http://www.letterneversent.com/index.php/archives/2004/08/19/letting-go-and-holding-on/#comment-1093 This is exactly what I've found with my family. I'm trying hard basically to overcome the way I was raised, although it's difficult (particularly when it comes to my obsession with having enough money, since I'm terrified of being homeless again someday.) That makes it tough to talk to my mother, who sincerely believes that she never made a single mistake in raising us. Still, at least she is content to let me live my life and even expresses pride in how far I've come. On the other hand, my sister, who knows how to push buttons I didn't even know I had, constantly accuses me of, basically, not "keeping it real" in terms of our culture and way of life as a family. And that hurts, since I am very consciously trying to create a family life for Sarah that reflects both her cultures...which means holding on to the things I believe were positive about our upbringing, and letting go of the rest. So she hasn't really bought totally into my latest reinvention of myself any more than she bought into the others. In fact, it always seems like she's trying to strip away the layers of reinvention I've built up and turn me back into the scared little fat girl who cried all the time that she was always so contemptuous of and knew she could bully with impunity. To make a long story short (too late), I know what you mean. This is exactly what I’ve found with my family. I’m trying hard basically to overcome the way I was raised, although it’s difficult (particularly when it comes to my obsession with having enough money, since I’m terrified of being homeless again someday.) That makes it tough to talk to my mother, who sincerely believes that she never made a single mistake in raising us. Still, at least she is content to let me live my life and even expresses pride in how far I’ve come.

On the other hand, my sister, who knows how to push buttons I didn’t even know I had, constantly accuses me of, basically, not “keeping it real” in terms of our culture and way of life as a family.

And that hurts, since I am very consciously trying to create a family life for Sarah that reflects both her cultures…which means holding on to the things I believe were positive about our upbringing, and letting go of the rest.

So she hasn’t really bought totally into my latest reinvention of myself any more than she bought into the others. In fact, it always seems like she’s trying to strip away the layers of reinvention I’ve built up and turn me back into the scared little fat girl who cried all the time that she was always so contemptuous of and knew she could bully with impunity.

To make a long story short (too late), I know what you mean.

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