11
Jul 03

I just wanted

I just wanted to ramble on a little before I crawled into this empty bed in this empty room in this empty house. When I am alone like this at night I think about the darkness and the stillness outside and inside. The people in the surrounding houses in the surrounding streets and neighborhoods laid beneath their covers in darkness, rows upon rows, sleeping soundly and still like mummies entombed in their linen wrappings. And here, thoughts are clamorous and seeking, leaking out into the night, washing over everything, past, present, and future.

I wonder if there are other people out there keeping this same vigil. Reluctant to turn off the lights and bury themselves under the sheets until it is time to rise again. Reluctant to give up and let go. Sometimes I wonder if people ever really know each other, or even if you can ever really know yourself. I feel like I’m missing some essential thing that I can sense by the empty space it leaves.


10
Jul 03

Just so no one thinks I forgot

Yesterday was Susan’s birthday. She’s awesome. No, I didn’t forget. I swear. I’ve been thinking about it for weeks I just didn’t do anything about. It’s complicated. I have my reasons. Did I mention I’ve known Susan and Karen since we were ten? Yeah. How do you like them apples? Way back in ninth grade before I became close friends with Karen I had a little crush on Susan. She was smart, cute, and obstinately opinionated. All important qualities in a woman. She also had a smell I found interesting for some reason, normal girl smell with a twist. In our ninth grade english class she sat directly to my right. I remember she always had this hairbrush under her desk where you keep your books. It would just be loaded with hair. I’m not sure why I remember that in particular. I’m glad we’re still friends. That’s a miracle in itself, trust me. Anyway, she’s so cool and passionate and in many ways a lot smarter than me. Happy birthday, Karen and Susan.

There was a star danced, and under that was I born. –William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing


10
Jul 03

The Friday Five

Bellis has gotten me hooked on these, the Friday Five.

1. What were your favorite childhood stories?

Like many children I always enjoyed any stories with fantastic settings and characters. Jungles, space, the ocean. Anything with sharks, dinosaurs, aliens, or robots. Anything with magic and any story which involved secrets. Any story which took place in the big, scary, and magical world of children.

2. What books from your childhood would you like to share with [your] children?

Trapped in Death Cave by Bill Wallace, The Indian in the Cupboard by Lynne Reid Banks, The Great Brain series by John D. Fitzgerald, A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle, Island of the Blue Dolphins by Scott O’Dell (The awesome cartoon, The Mysterious Cities of Gold, is based on the work of this author), Bridge to Terabithia
by Katherine Paterson, The Sign of the Beaver
by Elizabeth George Speare, Little House books by Laura Ingalls Wilder, Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls, From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler by E. L. Konigsburg, The Yearling
by Marjorie Rawlings, Socks for Supper by Jack Kent

3. Have you re-read any of those childhood stories and been surprised by anything?

I’m sure I have, but I can’t remember right now. I do remember how sincere and honest the books often are, how the feeling of being young and alive seems so simple and clear. I guess later in life things somehow get less clear.

4. How old were you when you first learned to read?

My mother read to my brother and me all the time. She used to take us to the library to pick out all the books we’d be reading for the week. She was always encouraging and patient and helpful. How did she know how to do that? It must be some special magic.

5. Do you remember the first ‘grown-up’ book you read? How old were you?

The first real book I remember reading was Tom Sawyer in first or second grade. I remember discovering it at my after-school daycare, Noah’s Ark in Round Rock, Texas. I think the real reason I remember it is because not only did I steal it and then later
rebind it with duct tape but I also tried at different times in my childhood to emulate Tom Sawyer either by threatening to run away with our doberman, Inga, or by keeping June bugs stabled in matchboxes where they could be unleashed on unsuspecting girls. Muahaha. (I still have the purloined book. See images below: if you look closely at the illustration on the right you’ll see the matchbox beetle prison)

tom_sawyer.jpg
open_book.jpg


10
Jul 03

Many Women May Ovulate

  1. Many Women May Ovulate More Than Once a Month, Study Says
  2. Marriage ‘tames’ geniuses, criminals:
      Kanazawa suggests “a single psychological mechanism” is responsible for this: the competitive edge among young men to fight for glory and gain the attention of women. That craving drives the all-important male hormone, testosterone. After a man settles down, the testosterone level falls, as does his creative output, Kanazawa theorises.
  3. Wired article on machinima

08
Jul 03

Interesting article

The only thing is, if this guy can do it couldn’t someone else? I wonder if the other governments of the world are studying this and making their own maps. I’m sure the US has probably done something like this with other countries.

  • ‘Dangerous’ information: Dissertation Could Be Security Threat: Student’s Maps Illustrate Concerns About Public Information

  • 08
    Jul 03

    Momma-la

    After going to bed at the ungodly hour of five a.m. my mom called and woke me up at nine as she was in Austin to see me. I knew she was coming to visit so I really had no excuse. We had a nice leisurely time of it: brunch at Magnolia Cafe where I downed some badly needed coffee, driving around looking for some thing my mom wanted for her air, and shopping at the mall where she bought me some nice towels. Mmmmmm, egyptian cotton. It’s not like I’m a towel freak I just don’t have very many and the ones I have are starting to look a little something the dog sleeps on. The highlight of the day was when I coaxed her into playing Bust-a-move on the X-Box, and she NEVER plays video games.

    Here she is looking gorgeous as usual and a little tan:

    mommala.jpg


    07
    Jul 03

    Today, or was it yesterday

    Today I went swimming again. It is my summer resolution. So far I have done a pretty good job of it. It’s nice to float in the cool water at Barton Springs and to lay on a towel in the sun while people watching. I’m planning on going tomorrow too.

    After that I went to see the new Danny Boyle zombie movie, 28 Days Later. It’s about an infectious disease appropriately called ‘Rage’ that turns people into blood vomiting zombies. If any blood or saliva gets into your body you have about 20 seconds until your a goner. I don’t think I could handle having to be one of the last people around on top of having to fight infected zombie people. I often wonder if I would be able to survive something like that or if I would just freak out and run off into the hills until some zombie finds me in a fetal position hiding under something. Not that I would welcome any opportunity for such an experience, it’s just that you often wonder if you are really made of sterner stuff.

    One really positive thing about the movie (and damn the reviewer that made me think of this because I can’t claim it solely as my own idea) was the message of how important family is. The interdependence of human beings and how wonderful it is to have someone outside yourself to relate to. Not just that, but when you’re alone in the world and everyone you know has become zombiefied you really appreciate how important other people are. After the move (which thankfully ended happy and hopeful in its own way) I wanted to find someone to hug tightly and thank them for being with and around me as a fellow person.

    Once when describing my fear of death to a friend, I was given the insight that a fear of death is often a fear of being alone. I think there is something to that. If I imagine death as a solitary experience it does seem very frightening. But, if I think of it as a thing I share with all other human beings and as an experience within the context of my life and relationships it doesn’t seem so frightening.


    05
    Jul 03

    Quotations from J.W. Goethe

  • “Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now. ”
  • “Rest not. Life is sweeping by; go and dare before you die. Something mighty and sublime, leave behind to conquer time.”

  • 05
    Jul 03

    Some interesting bits

    1. New and unusual things from the bottom of the ocean: Delight in ugly creatures
    2. 41 foot remains weighing in at 13 tonnes [pix]: Giant sea creature off coast of Chile identified as giant squid
    3. Russia Resumes Strategic Sub Patrols After Year Off
    4. From the establishment point of view with some general historical bits (sicari, zealots, assassins, and thugees) Center for Defense Information: A Brief History of Terrorism
    5. US control of the global airways: Force down rogue state jets, say US, Australia