I beebopped out to my car this fine, crisp like an apple morning and noticed the back right tire was flat on my car. Hey, no problem! I’m an expert at changing tires. It’s one of the five essential manly skills, second only to bug squashing. Ha! I laugh in the face of the whole concept of flatness.
I took all the crap out of my trunk (why are there Christmas lights in there?) and pulled out all the odds and ends necessary to get the job done. Spare… check. Tire tool… check. Dinky scissor jack… check. Then I loosened the lugs and starting jacking that bad boy up. I got the flat tire off and pushed the donut onto the hub. Then I started the lugnuts back on. Wait a minute, that spare looks a little low. Jesus, it’s completely flat. That means I did all this for nothing. Oh, you have won this time, flat tire, but I’ll be back.
The lesson here is always check your spare before you get too excited.