Je suis malade complètement malade

I have the flu, lagrippe, influenza. No one calls it the grippe anymore, which got me to thinking about other diseases that now go by different names.

  1. Mormal = Gangrene
  2. Morphew = Scurvy blisters on the body
  3. Ague = Any intermittent fever characterised by periods of chills, fevers and sweats.
  4. Bad blood = Syphilis
  5. Croup = Any obstructive condition of the larynx or trachea, characterised by a hoarse, barking cough and difficult breathing. It occurs chiefly in infants and children. Laryngitis, diphtheria, or strep throat.
  6. Dropsy = Abnormal swelling of the body or part of the body due to the build-up of clear watery fluid. Edema (swelling), often caused by kidney or heart disease.
  7. Pleurisy = Inflammation of the pleura, the membranous sac lining the chest cavity. Symptoms are chills, fever, dry cough, and pain in the affected side. Any pain in the chest area with each breath.
  8. St Vitus Dance = Chorea. Ceaseless occurrence of rapid complex jerking movements performed involuntary.
  9. Trench mouth = Painful ulcers found along gum line, Caused by poor nutrition and poor hygiene.

I feel better already.


  1. At least you don’t have the clap!

  2. Yeah, or the French pox!

  3. Actually, croup is still commonly used to describe hoarse, barking coughs…mostly by parents. And croupy coughs can be kind of scary. One of Coley’s 2 trips to the emergency room involved a croupy cough.